nothing new.

Life is pretty boring at the moment. It's in the 60's here and I actually thought about working in the yard today. But all I managed to get done was talk to my mom on the phone, start some knitting projects and cook dinner. I guess that's better than the nap I was planning on taking. LOST comes on at 10 so I hope my eyes can stay open for that.

My job is getting on my nerves. It's easy, the hours are awesome and I like most of the people I work with. However, my ass is getting tired of sitting in a very uncomfortable chair for 8 hours. I do get up to stretch, but the lack of movement for long periods of time is taking a toll. My muscles are starting to atrophy. Yes, I should exercise, but I don't think that will help during the day. Which brings me to my next subject: I'm thinking about doing the online college thing. Obviously, I don't do well in school situations where other people are around me and the flourescent lighting makes me fall asleep within 10 minutes. I really don't want to be sitting on my ass punching numbers or dealing with assholes for the rest of my life. I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up, but at least I could try for some sort of small business degree. Maybe I will open my own bar one day...

My parents, Brad and I saw "Breach" on Sunday. It was AWESOME. Chris Cooper is so underrated-that's probably a good thing because if his head got too big, he may end up sucking like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. It was the second time Brad went to see it-he and I don't agree sometimes about movies, but if he'll go see one more than once, chances are, the movie is damn good. My only complaint: the girl that played Ryan Phillppe's wife was not good in that part. She looked all of 12 years old and had the emotion of a rock. I just need to be a casting agent and fix that shit straight up. Oh, and I think I'm going to have a "controversially shitty film" day. I have come across a few that would suffice: 'Caligula'-have never even seen a snippet, but heard it's righteously nasty; 'Brown Bunny'-Chloe Sevigny actually gives a guy a blow job-FOR REAL, no joke; 'Tidelands'-Beau Bridges makes his daughter prepare his heroin for him daily. There's some necrophelia going on in there also. It's adapted by Terry Gilliam (Monty Python) from a book-and who the hell knows about that combination. I can't think of any others at the moment, but when I do, you'll be the first to know.

On the TV front, Eric Roberts is on 'Heroes' now, who knows for how long. It's one of the most popular new shows, but I can only name 2 other people who watch it, which sucks because I HAVE to discuss a good show the next day. There were 2 guys at Union Jacks yesterday that knew what the hell was going down. They were absolutely hilarious and cute to boot-one actually said he loved my laugh (that's a new one on me)-and I never got their names, nor had I ever seen them in there before. Apparently Rebecca the bartender knew them and said they were always like that, cracking up the population everywhere they go. The conversation went from the girdle Rebecca had bought to go under her wedding dress to having a fetish for "oppressive women's undergarments". Guess you had to be there. Glad I was, because I laughed my ass off for 2 hours. Still giggling at the thought of it actually...

ripped.

Don't I feel like a fat fuck. The pants I used to have trouble keeping up because they were too big-well, I tried to squeeze into them yesterday and they RIPPED, right in the crotch/thigh area. So to ease my sadness over my massive weight gain, I went to Wal Mart yesterday and spent $108 on crap. Well, mainly flower bulbs, seeds, pots and potting soil. I am determined to clean up my yard this year and, hopefully, lose weight in the process. I had been thinking about selling my house, but I think I'll just stay here and make improvements. Because, honestly, for what I paid for this house, there is nothing comparable, especially thie size of my yard. It sucks to mow it, but it does give me some space between my neighbors and I. When I put a privacy fence up, it will be my own little fortress. Muaaahahahaha....

Meanwhile, back at the fort, I've been working on some new knitting projects. I had made a baby blanket just to see what it would turn out like. My mother innformed me that it wasn't big enough, but it would make a good baby doll blanket. Sigh. Back to the drawing board. I tried doing an argyle pattern, but it looked like ass-I'm not good at Fair Isle or intarsia. With a little practice, I might get it right. So if anyone has any suggestions on something different I could try, let me know. I need some creativity in my life right now. Actually, I just need to win the lottery.

I have been wondering where all of my income tax money has gone. I got $821 back, plus got paid the week after that. It's not even the end of the month and I have managed to blow all but $100. So I looked at my transaction register-I had some pretty big bills (KUB, groceries) and a few big purchases (clothes at Target, a new windshield, gardening crap at Wal Mart), but nothing that I din't know about and especially nothing that I had spent over $1000 on. Upon closer investigation, I found that the rest of my money (not including a couple of doctor's appointments, gas and monthly payments on credit cards) had gone directly to my belly. Restaurants, fast food and various bars got the rest of my money. I have no doubt that my 2 month drinking spree has something to do with my sudden weight gain. So Union Jack's will have to be dwindled down to once a week, along with Preservation Pub and the Downtown Brewery. So much for my sudden social life as well. On that note, I'm going to fix my coffee and check out Post Secret.

ssdd.

I really have nothing interesting to post. It's very warm today-65 I think is the temperature right now. I've opened the windows and people are grilling out. The smell of charcoal is filling my house. At first, it smelled good, but now it makes me want to vomit. I am finally getting my windshield replaced tomorrow. $213 plus tax for them to come to my house and replace it. Now that's a bargain. Oh, and I made the mistake of getting on the scales a little while ago. I knew I had gained weight, but when I put my baggy jeans on this morning and I literally could barely sit down they were so tight, I had to see the damage. I'm at my highest weight ever-168. I have got to do something because a) I feel bad, b) I'm too poor to buy new clothes and c) I look like a chunk. However, it's nice to finally have an ass, but if this is the way to get one, I would just rather not.

Other than that, it's the same shit, different day.

the snow didn't melt.

I would have taken a picture of the snow that graces the ground today, but my batteries are dead in my camera. By the time they get charged, the snow that fell yesterday will have probably melted. I'm just glad it hasn't yet. It is a clear, cold beautiful day today. My mom and I are going to see "Music and Lyrics". It's a chick flick, so my dad isn't going-I really think he just wants to stay home and watch golf all day.

I have attempted to set up a system to where you guys will receive an email whenever I post a new blog. Let me know if you get it. Donna was tired of checking my blog 5 times a day when I hadn't posted anything. So I hope this works. Other than that, nothing exciting is going on here. Oh, there is one thing-Brent and I are going to see Lindsay Buckingham at the Bijou in March. I had mentioned that I would like to see him and he suprised me with tickets a few days later. Awesome. Damn, I love my family...

boy trouble.

OK, since I have totally abandoned the-let's just call him "bunghole"-idea, I have gone back to an original idea that Janet had to fix me up with a guy she knows. He has alot of baggage, but he is a really good guy, has a college education (in film!) and he has a steady job. I've never dated anyone with these specific issues and I'm not quite sure how to react. Well, Steve had alot of baggage, but his was more along the lines of stealing, not keeping a job and just being an all around idiot, which I guess is a whole lot worse than what this guy has. I've hung around him several times at Market Square (which is where I was last night), he's cool, his friends are cool and the pros and cons are pretty much even. However, by the time I decide if I should hook up with him or not, he'll probably disappear into thin air, or get swept off his feet by some other girl. Why me?

We are finally getting a good snow here. It may not last long, but it sure is pretty. I was planning on cleaning house today, but I put that off as soon as I decided to take a nap at noon. I did go to the ghetto mall to look for some New Balance sneakers, but they just didn't have anything I cared for. I made a pit stop at Old Navy and they didn't have anything worth a shit either. So my trip was fruitless. But at least it's snowing and I have nowhere to be but at home to enjoy it.

Jerry has adopted 2 kittens from Adopt A Pet. They are 9 week old black, shorthaired sisters. He didn't want to seperate them so he got them both. I'm sure his husband is not thrilled, but he told Jerry to do what he wanted. If you don't mean it, don't say it. Anyway-I would rather have him (or anyone) adopt an older cat because they are harder to find a home for, but you can't tell Jerry anything. Oh, well-at least he didn't get a cat from a breeder or pet store, both of which should be OUTLAWED. I'm going to stop here before I get pissed and type a complete lecture 10 pages long.

Other than that, my life has been uneventful, as always. Now, I have to do laundry. Peace out.

blue ribbon brownie.

Could I eat any more crap? Renita and I went to Crapplebee's today for lunch. Not only did I eat an entire platter of nachos, I also got a "blue ribbon brownie". I'm still eating the god foresaken thing. If I don't lose weight soon, I'll end up bed ridden where a crane would have to lift me out of my house. Someone please give me some motivation.

Jerry and I went to the pub quiz on sunday night. Out of 40 questions, we got 14 right. And after a couple or 5 ciders and many games of darts, I got home at midnight with the sole intention of calling in sick to work on monday. And I did. Not a very adult-like decision, but I sure as hell didn't want to go to work smelling like a brewery, not to mention, I had to be there at 6am for some training I've been trying to avoid because of the early time. This girl is not a morning person. But it has been rescheduled for next week. I can't get out of it this time. And whoever said I was a completely responsible adult, anyway?

And it's official-The Police are going on tour. The closest place to Knoxville is the Bonneroo festival. I would be tempted to go, but then I would have to get someone to go with me and that's 99.9% impossible. So I'll have to wait until the full list of tour dates comes out. But I am determined to see The Police before I die. If I met Stewart Copeland, I think I would shit my pants right there and then pass out. Hopefully, I would be able to get a picture of him before that happens.

have another beer.

"Next year-things are gonna change. Gonna drink less beer-start all over agaim. Gonna read more books. Gonna keep up with the news. Gonna learn how to cook. Spend less money on shoes." - Jamie Cullum 'Next year, Baby'

I really shouldn't post these things when I'm drunk. But I really have nothing better to do. I had dinner with Heatherly and her husband Jeremy tonite. And as a suprise, Beth and her husband Shawn showed up. I haven't seen them for years, so it was good to have their company for dinner. We went to Calhoun's (which, by the way, has the best key lime pie in Knoxville-I'm eating some now) and had long winded conversations about-well, everything. They went to see "Hannibal" afterward and I went to Union Jack's (of course). Alone (as always). Had a good conversation with Ryan about good songs for montages in movies. I couldn't think of any, except for "Team America" only because the song was a spoof of montages in most popular movies. Janet wanted me to go down to Preservation Pub, but by the time I got done at UJ's, she had already left. And I was not about to repeat the fiasco of 2 weekends ago. Now, I'm home and eating key lime pie.

Tomorrow, the family is celebrating Brent and Sarah's birthday. I have yet to get gifts. The good thing is, I got my tax return today, so I don't have to worry about overdrawing.

I'm a huge Jamie Cullum fan. I used to think that his version of "Lover You Should Have Come Over" was better than the original. The more I listen to the Jeff Buckley version, the more I see that the original is so much more gut wrenchingly sincere, I feel like crying everytime I hear it. In fact, the whole album (cd) is amazingly beautiful. How did I ever miss this? Every song is so perfect, I could walk into the water myself and drown. Jamie Cullum does do it justice, though. And as much of a fan of Radiohead as I am, I must say that Mr. Cullum's version of "High and Dry" IS better than the original. Why I am off on this tangent, I have no idea. I'm listening to Tom Waite's "The Piano Has Been Drinking" right now. He's the only other person I've ever heard use the term 'mental midget', other than my brothers. Maybe I just never paid attention to anyone else...

It's 11:50pm. I should be in bed, but I have one more bite of pie left and a buzz that needs to go away. So I'll just sit here and surf for a while until I just have to hit the bed.

john mayer at el dumpo.

Renita and I went to see John Mayer at the Civic Colleseum last night. I wondered why he was playing at that dump and then found out that Thompson Boling Arena was booked for a Vols game. We were on the 25th row on the floor. Needless to say, being that we are both midget height, we didn't get to see a whole lot of Mr. Mayer. But what we did get to see was as beautiful as one would see on TV. Or on this photo. And the music sounded better than any cd played on the world's best stereo. No, we didn't see Jessica Simpson, and one must forgive him for being a typical male by going for the blonde ding dong. Anyway, his playing was effortless, his vocals right on key AND he also slipped in a line from "Tea In The Sahara" (the Police) into one of his songs. How many people do you think actually picked up on that? I only wish the concert had been at a smaller venue like The Bijou or The Tennessee Theatre. Even a bar would have been better because his music is more suited to that kind of atmosphere. Alas, that would never happen-his fans would outnumber any seating arrangement in that case. Oh, well. Nonetheless, it was amazing.

So tonight is the first new episode of LOST in quite a while. It sucks that it comes on at 10pm, which is my bedtime. But I'll chance it and try to stay up. And my jaw is swollen and it's KILLING me. I was told it was from sleeping with a dick in my mouth, but I can assure you it's just my TMJ acting up. I think the new cereal I bought is the culprit. Yesterday, I went to the doctor and, not suprisingly, I had gained 6 pounds in 1 month. I was wondering why my ass was looking so good. Of course, it's beginning to look like I'm pregnant, but at least my bum is filling out the back of my britches. More pizza and cake, please.

sunday movie.

Notes On A Scandal

Awesome movie. All I can really say is, if you have read the book or have seen/are going to see this movie, PLEASE don't let me turn out to be like Judi Dench's character when I get older. As the years pass, I believe I am turning into the bitter old cat lady (like her character, minus the lesbian tendencies) that I have dreaded becoming. Although I can't say I would want to be Cate Blanchett's character Sheba either, but, hell, if I was that educated and good looking, I probably wouldn't mind.

Today has been a bad day (mentally) for me. But then my mother reminded me that my brother is in the same, yet more depressing, lonely state that I'm in. At least I didn't have a spouse that died in my arms. Selfish of me to think that I'm the only one with issues. On a good note, he is thinking of writing fiction again. And this year, he'll be building a log cabin and going on a trip through New England with my parents. I would love to go somewhere-anywhere-on a vacation. But trying to get the girls away from their spouses/boyfriends and/or kids is impossible. Sorry, don't mean to insult people, but it does suck to be single right now. Especially when the interested men are annoying dildos or guys who don't know if they are the father of the baby they are giving child support to. Hmmm-do I settle for something I really don't want or hold out for something I do want and will most likely never have? It's a toss up.

I'm in a funk. I'm going to go watch some more Battlestar Galactica and work on Donna's scarf. Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a better mood.

get a life.

So I expected to spend a nice enjoyable evening at Union Jack's this Friday night. I got there at 4:50pm and talked with Renita until about 5:30pm. She left, so I carried on my conversations with the other regulars there, thinking that I would probably be there for a while. And then the Book Man comes in and sits next to me. "You weren't here Sunday night" he says. "I had other things to do" I said, which was the truth-the family was celebrating my mother's birthday. "Well, how am I supposed to make the moves on you if you're not here?" he replies. I just laughed politely and asked Rebecca for my check. She apologized, but it wasn't her fault that the Book Man made me want to leave. Ugh.



Now, I'm home and getting ready to eat some leftover pizza and watch some more Battlestar Galactica. I'm a little more buzzed than I wanted to be. Oh, by the way, Amy is pregnant. I found out at work when I called her and she put Lulu directly on the phone to say "I'm going to be a big sister". The Lebakken family will be expanding in approximately 8 months. If it's a girl, it better be named after me...



On another note, Daniel Radcliffe will be in the British play called Equus. If you haven't seen the picture yet, here it is. I have no further comment on it until he is of age...

prime time.

Goddam, I love 'The Office'. I think I busted my gut laughing.

Either that, or I ate entirely too much pizza.