happy new year.

Happy may have big ears, but he's got killer hair and a sweet hat.

Happy New Year to all!
I love you guys-thanks for reading my spew. May we all win the lottery this year and never have to work again.

about last night.

After talking to someone at Union Jacks last night, I found out I am not the only one with a normal family. I was beginning to think that my family was the last of its kind. And the above said person also loves the hell out of his parents. Again, another shocking revelation. It took many drinks to pull these facts out of him, along with others (and some he wouldn't divulge even to his friends) but it was enough to know I'm not alone and someone can actually relate to the whole parent/family situation. And I think I have found a bar in which I can fit in with the crowd without being gawked at by rednecks or the loud drunk old men with money.

On another note-still no plans for New Years. Maybe I'll pop a pill and sleep through it. But I want 2007 to be different and I don't want to start it off asleep. I'm open to suggestions here.

I got the new Deftones cd 'Saturday Night Wrist'. Pretty good, but nothing will ever top 'White Pony'. I also bought 'Continuum' by John Mayer. A little disappointing. There are a couple of really good songs on there, but the rest is mush. I don't know-maybe I need to listen to it a few more times before I make a final judgement call. Today starts my longass vacation. No plans for that, either. What an exciting life I lead.

crap.

Merry fucking christmas everyone. I hope everyone's holiday is better than mine. It's the 24th and I haven't finished my shopping or knitting. I have until 4 o'clock to do these things, along with making a dish for dinner. So instead of doing these things, I'm sitting here writing this blog and replaying the events of last night. In other words, procrastination. My cat Nef is laying on top of my hands and it's hard to type. OK, now she's gone. That's the excitement in my life right now. I'll get back to you if anything changes.

whew.

I'm finally done with our knitting orders. The cookies are baked, the goody bags made. Now all I have to do is knit christmas gifts for my family and do some shopping. Hopefully I'll get done by the 24th. Ugh.

News Flash: Mary was a whore.

I watched a part of some show called 'The Mystery of Christmas' the other night. There were a few religious scholars trying to explain the immaculate conception. Apparently, Mary had premarital sex with Joseph and to cover it up, someone (maybe it was Caesar) came up with the virgin birth idea and spread it around. I didn't get the whole story, but I thought it was amusing. There were several explainations, but that was the gist of it. OK, so Mary wasn't a whore, per say, but she did like the nookie Joseph was giving her. And Jesus was an illegitimate child. Sweet.

Festivus for the rest of us

Since, technically, I'm an aetheist and this year has just been too hectic to celebrate the over commercialized holiday known as Christmas (which is actually is an observance of the winter solstice and not really Christ's b-day), I have decided to celebrate on Saturday with my local friends (what's left of them, anyway) a holiday called Festivus. Yeah, it's something imaginary from the mind of Seinfeld or Larry David, but it works for me. I have no idea where I will have this soiree-I'm sure I'll decide at the last minute. I'm also sure, as usual, that a few people will back out like they always do. I've become numb to all of the excuses people give for not wanting to go out. Really, there are only 2 excuses, ones people never tell you because they are too embarrassed or think you don't want to hear the truth. One is, basically, that their significant other doesn't want to go out/doesn't want their companion to go out, so what one decides is the others decision also. Two is that they have things they would rather be doing than go out with you. Like stay at home and be bored with the person who doesn't want them to go out. You see where I'm going with this. Why do people have to be stuck up each others assholes when they are dating or married to someone? I don't get it, but whatever... It's not all couples, but most of the ones I know or have known. And I don't mean it as an insult-but, damn, I just don't understand the concept of not wanting freedom. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't go have a beer with your friend or go shopping alone. As long as you're not fucking someone else, who cares? OK, I'll shutup now. I'm going to bed.

sunday.

Went to see 'Blood Diamond' today. Awesome movie. Almost as intense as 'Saving Private Ryan', but with a happier ending. I thought Leonardo DiCaprio's accent might bother me, but as the movie went on, I barely noticed. My butt was clenched so tight during the whole movie, I thought I could have squeezed a diamond out myself. It was more violent than I expected and the thought that this shit actually went on (and may still be going on) in Africa made me want to cry. I felt like ripping off my diamond necklace and throwing it in the garbage. Very educational movie, to say the least. And Jennifer Connelly is so gorgeous, I still may vomit.

Amy and Lulu arrived today, fresh from a 2 day trek from Austin, TX. I went to see them at her sister's house. Let me just say, I have never felt more loved. Lulu and Madison (Jaime's daughter) showered me with hugs and kisses, saying they loved me, missed me and sat on my lap to tell me where they were sleeping tonight (on an air matress, which Jamie's husband was having a helluva time blowing up) and that their socks were stinky. I loved it. My family would be proud, since kids normally freak me out. But, damn, I love that Lulu so much, I just can't help it. And today is her 4th birthday-Happy Birthday, Lu-maybe now you can wipe your own butt!

Nothing more exciting going on. I did manage to finish most of my cookie baking. Still knitting my ass of to meet the order deadlines. I guess I'll be buying christmas gifts on the 24th. Shame on me, but hell-I've had alot of crap going on and by the New Year, I can start anew.

headache.

No cool pictures. Misty came into town last night. I haven't seen her in 3 years. She blew into town in her hoopty car (and I mean hoopty-a blue '88 Buick with mag wheels and a primered top) for a visit with Jerry and I. The 3 of us went to the liquor store and stocked up on our drink of choice. I ended up with a bottle of champagne to mix with OJ, Jerry with Quervo gold and Misty with Maker's Mark. I never intended to get trashed-just wasn't in the mood. And I only drink champagne maybe once or twice a year. A couple of glasses and a couple of shots later, I didn't even have a buzz. The night started out fun, but then Misty got shitfaced and started babbling about something for 15 minutes, crying. However, I did learn to read tarot cards. Very interesting. I don't believe in anything, really, but I find it amazing that tarot cards are usually dead on, as is astrology. Well, with me it is, at least. And I have a massive headache this morning from a drunk I didn't even have. Anyway-very strange night, with a quote from Jerry who wore shorts last night. We were discussing the events of the previous night on the phone this morning. The 3 of us were on the porch last night while Misty had her crying fit and smoked about 5 cigarettes-it had been warm during the day, but the night was freezing. I just stood there, listening and Jerry was sitting down petting a stray cat, his exposed legs going numb. Jerry's comment on the whole porch scene was: "She just kept going on and on-it was so cold, even Frosty died out there." Such is the life of a listener.

My friend Amy is coming in this weekend-I can't wait to see her and my Lulu. Gotta bake cookies all day today. I am not in the mood for Xmas this year-I don't even have all of my knitting done, or my shopping. Not one holiday decoration adorns my house. I have the first 2 weeks off in January and nothing planned. I'm stressed out. And I have a headache.

fat monday.

I feel as though I could give birth to an alien at any moment. I have eaten since I woke up this morning, with a break to take a nap. It seems like I would know better by now. Today was our gift exchange at work-along with giving gifts, everyone also brought food. Two LONG tables worth of junk food from which I picked at all day. I think I may gag myself and get it overwith.

On Mancow this morning, he gave the calorie and fat count of certain alcoholic beverages, one being the Long Island Tea-700+ calories and 44 grams of fat. I find that hard to believe-if this was true, I would have had a massive heart attack on Friday night after consuming 4 LIT's. It would also mean that this specific drink has more fat than alfredo sauce, which is quite possibly the most fattening thing you could eat besides pure lard or a tub of Crisco. I'm gonna have to do some research. This did not brighten my Monday.

Random thoughts in my head:
Jimmy Pop is a lyrical genius.
Matthew McConaughey is an arrogant asshole.
Whatever happened to Paula Cole?
I really need to clean my house before company comes in this weekend.
I hope the fuckwads that stole all of my CDs are enjoying my Church, Jamie Cullum and Tori Amos collection.
Why would anyone WANT to work at the Waffle House?

Ok, I'm literally about to pop. I'm one more wafer thin mint away from combustion. Wish me luck.

it's official.

No trip to Amsterdam. No trip to London. Not real happy about it, but there's nothing I can do. I need to find alternate plans for New Year's. That's pretty much all I have to say on the subject.

I'm ready for this year to be over. It's been a shitty one. Hopefully, next year will be better. Just 21 more days to go. I'm still taking the first week of January off. I'll figure out something to do, surely. I have alot of reading and movies to catch up on.

I'm boring myself.

family scandal.

I'm not real close to anyone on my dad's side of the family, so I feel ok about sharing this. Back in May, at our local meat market Michael's, a minor was served several drinks and then proceeded to get killed in a car crash on the drive home. The bartender who served the said alcoholic beverages just happened to be my cousin Jerry. I haven't seen or spoken to the guy since I was about 16 (we're the same age). It sucks for him because he was arrested yesterday and might be charged with multiple accounts of something or other. It's odd seeing a family member's mugshot on the 6 o'clock news, not because he's my cousin, but mainly for the reason that Connatsers generally aren't trouble makers or newsworthy. My brother Brent was put in jail ages ago for installing cable illegally, but that's as scandalous as it gets. My other brother Brad was in the paper a couple of times-he was scalping tickets and some crazy fool decided to drag him down the street with their car-literally. The paper said his name was Buford instead of Bradford. Another time was earlier this year about starting your own business. He won some award when he was in college-I couldn't tell you what it was for, but my mother has all of the paper clippings in a scrap book. I was in the news paper in high school-they interviewed me for a piece on the PMRC. Don't remember what I said in that, either. My nephew Chad had his picture in the News Sentinel for making a hole in one at the golf course. And my mom and sister Belinda had their picture in the paper for shopping at some store-a shot of them with their grocery carts. Yeah, real popular people, we are. Anyway, this whole issue with cousin Jerry is pretty big news around here:

http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=40325

On another uninteresting note, I've had a massive hangover all day. I usually NEVER get hangovers. Maybe I drank more than I should have. It happens. Janet and I went to see Spencer tickle his ivories at Rick's Place. She had never been there, nor had she ever met Spencer, so it was something new, rather than going to the Brewery. Spencer was feeling under the weather, keeping a bottle of generic Cloreseptic handy for an occasional squirt. After a few hours there, my pal and I went to McLeods for some kareoke. We never sing ourselves, but we usually meet some interesting and sometimes scary people there. Needless to say, I feel like a dirty ass today. I had so many things planned for today-none of it got done AND I had to cancel with Renita (we were supposed to go out but if I looked at another alcoholic beverage, I might have puked). I got up at 10:30am, went to Starbucks for some coffee and danish, came back home for a while to play on the computer, then I passed out on the couch for a couple of hours. To be honest, even though I feel like crap, it's actually nice not to have any deadlines to meet or places to be. I'm saving that for tomorrow.

be like the squirrel, girl.

"...if that squirrel can take care of himself with a harsh winter coming on, so can I. Once I broke my problems into small pieces, I was able to carry them just like those acorns-one at a time." - Little Acorns by The White Stripes



And that's the way I handle my life at the moment. I should be pissed off about alot of things right now (or so I've been told by several people), but why bother? Being angry doesn't change anything-it just makes your blood boil and your head hurt. There's nothing you can do about most things, anyway, especially shit from the past. I used to thrive on anger-it fueled everything I ever did, not to mention it made other people mad at me, even to the point of sending them
away crying. Some of it was caused by my depression, but most of it was just being young and stupid. So I began taking Prozac and got older. What a difference. I'm lucky I'm still alive to notice the change, actually. I think if I had gone any longer without admitting to myself that I needed help (better living through chemistry), I'd be ashes in an urn by now. Just had to get that out.

Now I'm thinking that maybe it's ok that I don't go on my European vacation. It's almost $200 to get a new windshield, I just got my $150 utility bill (thanks to gas heat), I have $40 in my checking account and I still haven't gone to the grocery store. Payday isn't until the 15th. I guess I'll eat sandwiches and pretzels everyday til then. Mom gave me some leftovers to last a couple of days. I still have a 6 pack of beer in the fridge- I don't even like beer. Oh, and my eye doctor appointment tomorrow, along with a new pair of glasses. Yeah, I've pretty much shot my wad. Good thing I have insurance. The copayments just about equal the total in my checking account. Such is life.

"The problems at hand are lighter than at heart...Be like the squirrel, girl, be like the squirrel."

ghost in the machine.

Hotel Elevator at the Embassy in Atlanta











Cover of "Ghost In The Machine" by The Police











Well, you can't see it very well, but the messed up floor number display on the elevator immediately reminded me of the album. As always, the annual trip to Atlanta was quite fun, filled with lots of shopping and eating. And, of course, one piece of drama. My mom, sisters and I had been shopping at Lenox Mall for hours on Saturday when hunger struck our bellies. Normally, we would go to Mick's for lunch, since the food court is so crowded (West Town Mall is deserted in comparison) and my mom isn't a big pizza eater, so California Pizza Kitchen is out of the question. But our legs were tired and our stomachs were growling from hunger-it made us a bit disoriented. Not to mention, my mom is getting older, so her knees and feet were basically toast. The drama ensued with us getting lost in the multi level mall, trying to find Mick's. We went up and down escalators and elevators, in and out of lingerie and shoe departments before we finally found mecca, only to discover that this particular area in the mall was under construction and Mick's was completely gone, the chasm that took it's place covered in sheets of plastic. I'm sure we looked like kids on Christmas morning who excitedly open a gift only to find it's a lousy pair of socks. Needless to say, we left and ended up at Mimi's Cafe near our hotel.

Friday, however, was less eventful although it produced a quote for my little book. We went to Max and Erma's for dinner. I brought up in conversation that I had a dream the previous night about Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje - Mr. Eko, to LOST fans. In the dream, as I explained, he and I were making a movie together and we had a sex scene. I had asked the director how she was going to film it since actual sex would constitute the movie resulting in a porno (remember, this is a dream and nothing makes sense). The director says "Oh, it's OK-he'll be wearing a little loin cloth." At this point, my sisters were already laughing so hard, they were crying, a little because they thought it was funny, but the main reason being the guy sitting behind me was intently listening to the whole conversation we were having. And then comes the quote. From my mother, no less. In reference to the "little loin cloth", she says quite loudly "Well, hell, he couldn't wear a little ANYTHING." Obviously, for this to be funny, you would have to know my mother and also know what Mr. Eko looks like. Damn, I love my mommy.

On another note-Eragon comes out December 15. Can't wait for that. Still waiting on the third book in that series. Still haven't seen Borat yet. So many movies, so little money. Occasionally, my sister will get free passes to movies she doesn't want to see, but they are always on a weird night when no one else feels like getting out. Waaaaaaahhhhh. Last episode of Heroes tonight until next year. Now monday nights will really suck.