daily dose of jesus.

With permission from James, I have posted this picture of Lauren's interpretation of the nativity scene, which is beyond genius for a child her age. Of course, I am partial but you'll get over it. First of all, I have to say that I received a comment from Donna asking-no, ordering- me to post again. The next thing I did was check my email and VOILA-this photo popped up. And besides the nature of the content-there is a coffee mug in this pic that says Baltimore on it. So here you go, Donna-a blog just in time for your request. Now-Homer was indeed a very wise man for bringing baby Jesus a bowling ball. Fuck incense and myrrh-who needs that? Everyone loves bowling and Jesus did become the king of Starlight Lanes. Whatever the wise littlest pet shop dog and the reincarnated Jerry Garcia bear (yes, you can travel back in time if you are reincarnated-ask Shirley McClaine) had to offer, it paled in comparison to Homie's holy gift of the fat man's sport. Hail Mary? I think not. Hail Homer, bitches.

On another more realistic plane, I have been very busy this week, working in the yard. So if I haven't called (or posted a blog), that is why. It is shaping up nicely so far-tomorrow, I'm going to Lowe's to get some plants and a couple of bricks and mortar to test out before my patio is built. Brad has decided to buy me all of the supplies to build the porch for my birthday. I'm excited about working on it. I actually like the labor and the guys never let me help, I guess because I'm a girl. But I can bust ass, I asure you. Also, I'm planting all of my bulbs tomorrow, with my mom's direction, since I have no clue what the hell I'm doing. But for now-I'm getting ready for work and after that, a much needed break at the local watering hole. Peace out.

religious experience.

So Brent and I went to see Lindsey Buckingham at The Bijou last night. I've never seen anything so amazing in my life. It was sickeningly beautiful. Most of the songs were done solo, the rest with 2 other guitarists and a drummer from Cuba who basically played the box he was sitting on. Even that was awesome. But I'm glad that people are finally getting to see what a phenomenal guitarist he is instead of just thinking that he was Stevie's sidekick or Fleetwood Mac's good looking man in the band. As a matter of fact, Lindsey Buckingham was the backbone and major songwriter of Fleetwood Mac. And for a guy who is 58 and still can hit every note while doing things to a guitar that no one else can, it's a wonder for all to see. Brent and I still can't figure out how the hell he plays-look at the photos and you'll see it looks like his hands are doing normal strumming. But that's just it-his right hand is always in a cupped strumming position, even when playing a solo. His fingers barely move. My brother gave 2 reasons for this: we were discussing it before the show, wondering how Lindsey played like that and he said "Well, he just fucks it." Then after the show, we were discussing it again and he said "He's got 10 Cubans playing guitar behind the curtain. If that curtain falls, he's screwed." In any case, yes, I would consider it a religious experience (along the lines of Tori Amos, although not really even comparable) and coming from an atheist, that's saying alot.

Speaking of atheism, here's a nice article I found. See if you agree:

Does this mean I should be shot? Or should I move to another country? I would do so gladly, as long as the Christian Coalition or the Catholic church-hell, even Oral Roberts-would pay for it. Just send me somewhere nice like Ireland or Italy. You know-real Catholic countries. I hear they are more forgiving than Southern Baptists...

green thumb and Bonneroo.

I have become quite the green thumb as of late. I have cleaned up my flower beds for my 70+ bulbs (my mom counted) to be planted. The bushes in the front of my house had a blight so I dug them up. I guess I'll plant some more bulbs in there. Soon, I will blow all of the leaves into the ditch, plant some grass seed and powerwash the house. The herbs, flowers and vegetables I have started from seed have popped up rather nicely, especially the zucchini, cucumbers and tomatoes. I can't wait to see what becomes of my Johnny Jump Ups and Violas, which have also sprung to life. Pretty soon, they will need repotting. Obviously, my new medication is working very well since, otherwise, I never would have had the energy for such things.

It's official-I'm going to Bonneroo. I bought my ticket yesterday. 3 nights and 4 days of stinky, sweaty fun on the farm, watching The Police, The White Stripes, Tool, Ween, Clutch, The Flaming Lips, Lewis Black, David Cross and a whole fuck load of other bands. $250 well spent. Hell, I would have just spent that to see The Police and then go home. But why not stay and get trashed, camp in a tent, use nasty portapotties and be around thousands of strangers as well? I can't wait. I still have no clue who I will end up going with, but I don't care. Jerry won't go because he has to take at least 2 showers daily. He said "Well, you know there won't be a whole lot of gay men there if there are no showers!" Renita said she will go, even if she has to use FMLA for her daughter to get the dates off since she wouldn't be able to otherwise. I am taking 2 days off without pay for this, but my mother is gung ho about me going and is willing to cover the pay I will miss because of it. Damn, I love my parents.

Other than that, I'm just doing the same old shit-knitting, watching the boob tube, hanging out at Union Jacks, although not so much lately-I need to cut down on my alcohol intake because of my gut busting the buttons off of my pants. And, I can't really afford it. So once or twice a week is about it. Just enjoying the warm weather before the nasty heat of summer begins. Right now, it's a roller coaster of temperatures-76 tomorrow, then 55 the rest of the week. At least it's giving the heat pump a break-and my wallet.

bling.

Who needs a husband when you have Jerry Davis? He bought my birthday present a few weeks ago online and when he received it, he couldn't wait to give it to me. So Tuesday, he came over with 2 boxes that screamed JEWELRY. I just about fell out when I opened them. In one box was a periwinkle tanzanite and white gold bracelet. It's not a good picture, but you get the gist.

In the other box was an alexandrite, diamond and white gold ring. I couldn't get a good pic of it either, but it was on the website he ordered it from, so I took the photo from that.

Pretty, huh? Nothing I would ever buy for myself because I'm a cheapskate and not much of a jewelry person, anyway, but needless to say, I was shocked. Holy crap. They are quite beautiful in person. The only real jewelry I've ever gotten (3 pieces now) was from a gay man. Oh well-it's good enough for me and I can only hope he knows how much I appreciate it. The fact that he said I was worth every penny meant more to me than the ring or the bracelet. OK, I'll quit showing off now.

Sunday: My parents, Brad and I saw "Zodiac". Great movie-I never knew the story, so it was probably more interesting for me. It was 2 1/2 hours long. And the most graphic part of the movie (or any movie I've seen, for that matter) wasn't even bloody or gross. 2 people were getting stabbed repeatedly and the camera did not pan away like in most movies. It was the most disturbing thing I've ever experienced visually. Anyway-well worth the money. Yesterday, Brad and I went to see "Reno 911-Miami", which was absolutely hilarious. If you like the show, I won't give away anything because you MUST see the movie, but remember this-Shug Night's birthday party. That's all I will say. I laughed my ass off, but it wasn't one where I laughed so hard I cried, although my stomach got a good workout. We also saw th previews for "Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Colon"- the movie that caused the Boston police department to go apeshit over the the ads for it being placed around town. I can't undertand mistaking a fucking Lite-Brite for a terrorist attack, but whatever.

Poof is now testicle free, as of yesterday. He got some more shots and his ears cleaned out and now he's the perfect furry little man. The vet said every time they walked past him, he would roll over, wanting them to pet him. What a rotten cat. I guess that's my fault, but hell-how can you resist spoiling a soft, squishy kitty that follows you to the mailbox everyday and gives you unconditional love? And people wonder why I love my cats so much.

And lastly, I am going to build a brick patio in the back yard. Hopefully, it will be done by the time my birthday rolls around so the drunk people can have some privacy. Wish me luck.

workin' in the yard.

Today was such a beautiful day, I had to work outside. Perfect weather-for me, at least. Clear, not too cool and very windy. Even though I was in the sun (yes, I wore sunscreen) I didn't even break a sweat-the wind instantly cooled me off. After playing in the dirt for over 5 hours, my back is broken, my fingernails dirty and my skin chapped. But my flowerbed is going to look marvelous, as long as the squirrels don't dig up the bulbs. I haven't planted them yet, but I'll be sure to put out mothballs when I do.

Really, there is nothing else going on. Planning on a trip to Philly with Donna to see the King Tut exhibit. Poof is getting his nuts cut off this week. Already thinking about the Cinqo de Mayo celebration I'm going to have this year on my birthday, since it's on a saturday. Thinking of ideas for the imaginary bar I'm going to open someday. Going to knit some stuff. Cramping. Freezing because it's 50 degrees in my house and I've had the heat off all day. So I think I'll just take a nice, hot shower and and pick something to do. I actually have a sense of accomplishment right now, which is a good thing. Let's hope for more of that feeling in the future.