for Donna.

"The truth will set you free-but first, it will piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

This is for Donna. My pal since high school and confidante in Baltimore. We have nothing in common except our fascination with whoopee cushions and the fact that neither one of us like people very much. If I love a movie, I know right away that Donna will hate it. I treated her like shit in high school. She still loves me. I feel like a total dumbass when I talk to people. She reassures me that I'm smart and she's boring (although I think it's the other way around). We have been friends for almost 20 years-been through alot of fights, boyfriends, family issues, personal battles and loss of loved ones. And we're still together.

People, in general, are idiots. And I include myself in that generalization. But even an idiot like me can't tolerate other idiots. Just when you think you know and like someone, they turn out to be the type of people you loathe. Donna and I are alike in this respect, which is why when we make friends, it's usually permanant because it just takes too much time and energy to get to know someone and then realize they are fake or backstabbers, whatever. Where we tend to differ is the actual process of making friends. Donna gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I tend to find people guilty until proven innocent. I don't lay my trust out for just anyone. I'm suspicious until every thing is known about a person and even then, I'm cautious. It's a bad way to be, but it prevents alot of heartache. And I'm not a social person, anyway. Neither is Donna, but her coat of armour isn't as thick as mine. People stomp on her bleeding heart (including myself in the past-sorry about that) and she ends up hating all mankind. Different views, same results.

"When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch." - Bette Davis

People think I'm a bitch for whatever reason-well, I don't mean to be. Under my thick suit of chainmail is someone that gets hurt really easy, but doesn't like to show it. So whatever comes out of my mouth is usually smartass and condescending to make up for the fact that I really feel stupid when I talk. Donna makes people feel dumb when she talks because, in comparison to her, they are. And I don't mean that in a bad way-she's an educated, well spoken person. We get the same results out of people we speak to, each with a totally different approach. In other words, we upset people unintentionally and ultimately bar them from our existence because of their reaction to our words. Maybe we have more in common than I thought.

So here's to Donna and all of the others that just hate the human race. We're not bad people, I swear. Just honest, to the point-why can't everyone be that way?