monday shmonday.
"I just filled a Twinkie." - Jerry on Russell Crowe in Virtuosity
This weekend, I saw 'A Good Year' with Russell Crowe. The critics panned it. I loved it. Why? Because it's a chick flick. Who knew Ridley Scott would direct Mr. Crowe in a chick flick? It's not the greatest movie, by any means, but it has eye candy AND Albert Finney. Can't go wrong with that on a Sunday afternoon.
I work with names all day long. I scan them, type them, compare them to their signatures, etc. Pretty boring, but I work 7:30-4 Monday thru Friday and every dumbass holiday is off with pay. The only complaint I have is my ass hurts at the end of the day. The joy of this job is seeing all of the insane names people have given their offspring. I collect them in a little notebook that I have compiled from tons of post it notes from work. So for the Monday funnies, I will share a few of my favorite names. And if any stranger reading this happens to be named in the list, well-I'm grateful for the laughter you have brought me and sorry for any ridicule you may have gotten from the school bully because your name is too abnormal for their cornpone heads to comprehend. And these names are real-only nicknames are in quotations. Enjoy.
Aloysius Ignatius Wills (I think I have found a name for my imaginary son-I love this name)
Lucious Pitts
Whiskey Marie (didn't get her last name...)
Cubie Brown
Elizabeth Nicewonger
Bobby Joe Fudge
Dwaymian Mowayne Brissette (sounds like pig latin)
Horst R. Dinkelacker
Velma Swingle Swecker
Guy Smalley (Guy Smiley's alter ego)
Deborah Ann & Junior Dookie
Nice Lopez
Dwayne "Smoove" Parker
Birdie Early
Ebbie Ella Kunkle
John Appleseed Chapman
Chavrioleytte Crenshaw (WTF???)
Ermatine Norwood
There are literally hundreds more, but they are on many post it notes scattered around my house. I have yet to gather them all. Maybe after the holidays. And here's a final funny. As my friends and family know, my house was broken into earlier this year. The meth heads stole my cameras, Play Station, game controllers, all my video games, some cash and other miscellaneous things. I blamed it on the (what I call) hooties in the apartments down the street (which I call Hootieville). I've also been having a problem with them stealing my (and the neighbors) mail. And a few months after that, they broke into my car and stole all of my CDs. My car was unlocked, but they just had to bash the window in. HOOTIES. So in honor of my misfortune, Renita made up a little diddy for me to sing whenever I miss my Nikon F3 or all of my Church CDs:
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