i look pretty when i cry.

I just watched the most gut wrenching, depressing movie I have ever seen in my life-"Dancer In The Dark" with Bjork. Yeah, I know it's old by now, but I finally rented it. I cried my guts out for 30 minutes. I love Bjork, anyway and this just made me appreciate her even more. Who gives a shit if she beat up some news woman at the airport? Of course, I had to return the movie to avoid a late fee. I pulled a Jim Carrey and looked at myself in the mirror while I was crying to see if I should go in Blockbuster to look around or just slip it in the quik drop. My mascara was running, my eyes swollen and bloodshot, my nose red from rubbing it raw with a tissue and my hair was greasy (thanks to some hair product that Amy gave me to straighten hair-thanks) and unkempt. I looked like a true female victim straight out of the movies. The irises of my eyes turn this flourescent aqua color whenever I cry and it looks like I'm wearing colored contacts. It's kind of cool, actually. I've always loved and wanted brown eyes, but I guess there's an upside to having whatever color it is I have. Anyway-I chose the quik drop.

So yesterday, after getting the spot on my face frozen on Monday, the frozen area had formed a water blister and I accidentally tore thin skin off while I was rubbing my face. Not a pleasant experience. Now, it looks as if the skin on my cheek was scraped across concrete. I guess that's better than a dead piece of flesh waiting to be popped like a water balloon. Let this be a lesson to all of you sunbathers out there. Even though I haven't been in the sun for a very long time, it catches up with you.

I'm thinking about getting a gym membership. I know, it's been a complaint of mine that I wouldn't spend money on something I can do at home. The problem is, when I get home, the only thing I want to do is park my ass on the couch and watch the boob tube for hours. So I figure if I drive to the gym straight from work, I can bypass all that shit. And money? Well, if I can spend countless days and nights at Union Jacks, wasting my money on alcohol, then maybe I can cut back and afford the gym. I had 2 ciders after work-after crying my eyeballs out, I didn't much feel like eating, not to mention it's already my bedtime, so I considered my dinner as liquid. Maybe I'll have a small snack before sleepy time...